Uptalking

I remember when I first heard the term “uptalking”. I think it was the fall of 1992. My VERY cool older sister, Kristen, was a freshman in college and I was a sophomore in high school. Kristen called us excited that she was going to be on the NBC Nightly News. They went to her college to interview some college kids during a segment on uptalking. Kristen’s appearance sounded something like this “My name is Kristen? And I’m a freshman? At Villanova?”

That is what “uptalking” sounds like. It’s ending every declarative sentence with inflection that makes every statement sound like a question. It’s a sort of “Valley Girl” dialect that we all did at some point during high school/college.

Why do I bring it up? Because if you ever thought that uptalking was a bit annoying, you have NO IDEA what is going on in my house. It’s not simply uptalking. It is that every thought that enters Colin’s brain is currently converted into a question. It’s incessant. “Is this not an Elephant?” “Is it not?” “Is it an elephant?” “MOM, is it not?” “Is THIS not an elephant?” “Is it?” “Is it not?” “Know what this is?” “Know what it is?” “Mom, know what this thing is?” He knows the answers, he’s just working on forming questions. Answering makes no difference, he just moves to the next object to ask endless questions.



Yesterday, we all went to the grocery store. Bringing both boys requires me pushing around the GIGANTIC car cart, you know, the one with the big HUGE red car in the front and the normal cart on the back. Colin sits in the car and Owen sits in the seat in front of me. So I was pushing Colin around as he was CLUTCHING the three boxes of juice treats he picked up, one Dinosaur, one Sharks and one Curious George. All I hear, the ENTIRE time we’re in the store is this little voice coming out of the car saying “Is this not a dinosaur? “Is it not?” “Know what it IS?” “Do you know?” “Is this Curious George?” “Is this not Curious George?” “Is it not?” “Mom, know what color this is?” “Is it not brown?” “Is it brown?” “Know what it is?” “Do you know?” “Mom?” “Mom, know what it is?” “Is it a T-Rex?” “Is this a hammer head?” “Is it not?” “Is it not a hammer head?” “Mom?” “Mom, is it not a hammer head?” and on. and on. and on. and on.

And so I have to apologize to the Universe. Because a year ago, I swore that I would NEVER EVER EVER wish for Colin to be quiet if he would only learn to talk. I would be too happy to discuss all the wonderful things in the world that I would never once wish for a moment of silence. Well, sorry, Universe. Because I wasn’t expecting THIS?